I can't believe you don't like pets.

I don't. Every time I have this conversation with someone, and I break the news to them that I am just not a pet person, they just look at me with this blank stare as if to say that they can't believe I feel that way. How could you not like a dog or cat? How could you not want something in between your feet when you walk or there everytime you turn around? How could you not want something to lick your face when you sleep? How could you not want to clean up drool, food, chewed shoes, hair? How could you not want the thousands of dollars in pet food and vet bills.

I do not like animals. There I've said it. It is the first step in my twelve step program of admitting I have a problem. When people say they do not care for kids, the reaction is not as harsh.

I especially do not like the things people do to their pets either. Buy them presents, have entire stores dedicated to them (which you can take them too), dress them, or give them their own bedroom.

I do have a ten month old. He is very much like a pet. He follows me around the house, he drools, he makes noise, he needs to go to the bathroom with assistance and needs to be fed. There are entire stores dedicated to his every need and he does have his own bedroom. He actually has two rooms. His bedroom and his playroom. I can even take him everywhere with me.

I am sorry pet lovers....I'm just not in the club.