I’ve been busy with this project. I’ve gotten over my insecurities about that lady. I was done with it around 5:30 last night and dropped it off to her at 5:45. I made $150.00. I think I may have broken the printing curse that I carried around during my graphic design stint. Every time I went to print, the printer was broken, the paper wasn’t right, the margins would be off or something so simple, just to throw off the print. No one seemed to have any solution for it either at school. I did just fine on my own.

I need to check myself. I have been so negative and such a bitch lately that I don’t even like myself anymore. I’m so unhappy with my choices that it is just seeping out of my soul and making me so not nice right now. I have nothing nice to say about much these days, so I just sit here and be quiet. I feel like I’m making everyone around me miserable too. Even the new people that I’ve met in the past month or so must think I’m some kind of nut bag. I hate this Rachele, whoever she is. The old Rachele was so nice and caring and trusting. This new Rachele, feels there is ulterior motive behind every nice gesture, compliment, or comment. I feel that I can’t trust many people, and I feel like I have no sensitivity toward anything. What is that? And why can’t I fix it?

Enough with the pity party. I was optimistic for one minute this week, when I got an email from a local bank’s HR department saying I met the profile of an account executive and asking to fill out a preliminary application. I really hope they call. A career move is the first thing I need to start feeling better about myself. Well actually it is probably the only thing I need to make me feel better. Everything else is not too shabby, but being miserable here is making me not enjoy the things that do make me happy.